You're in my brain.

So I needed to draw you.

 

I know this doesn't look like you.

....

I want to see you again.

Sleep

Something I'm realizing about myself... I hate sleep.
I feel like once I get home from work, eat and clean up after dinner, prep for the next day and are ready to jump into the other projects I want to do... it's bedtime.
Suddenly the frustration of when I was 5 years old and forced to take a nap starts to well up inside of me and I grudgingly get under the covers.
I want a body that doesn't need sleep.

This is an in-progress chalk pastel drawing that I started thinking of my friend, but I think really it's more about me.... Gosh I'm so self-centered. haha.
Her name is Maeda 前田 literally meaning, "before the rice field". From here I plan to draw amorphic dreams rising from the field.
My dreams are right before me. They are intimidating. I feel like my life is too short. I'm tired but I'm driven. I don't want to sleep. That's not where I want to see my dreams. I want to see them before me.

Out of Eden

Just started doodling and this came out. I was thinking of this Bible verse.
14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Commission complete

So, after maybe a couple of years, I've finally completed a side project that my friend commissioned me to do. As thankful as I am for her, "Anytime is fine" outlook on the project, it definitely wasn't a practice in meeting deadlines.
But now, it is finished and I'm going to start working towards completing my next project.
Which one that is, depends on the publishing avenue decide to pursue. I'm in the research phase right now. I know if I want to publish here in Japan I've got to enlist some of my native friends' help in my research.
Anyway, I'm determined to get something out there. So, the journey continues now.

Coming along

I hope that distance makes the heart grow fonder...

Here are some things I've been working on outside of finishing a commission.

I'm doing my best to be productive with my time and finish all the projects that I've conceived- keeping a consistent blog being one of them.

Goodbye Takashi

I drew this by request for a friend of mine that's leaving our church. It came out surprisingly well. I did it freehand, without a grid or tracing paper. Gave me a burst of confidence!

I've been doodling with a girl in my after-school classes which has been really fun for me.
I'm still not organized enough to have art time after work though. I guess I have to start commissioning myself if I want to get anything done.

Like Stale Bread in French Onion Soup

I've been tossing around the idea for a large scale chalk drawing in my head over the past week as well as really trying to figure out how I need to balance my life. As per usual, once I start to get accustomed to the way things are, big change happens. I'll be changing work places (campus not job) as well as moving to a new apartment soon. I'm not dreading either, but I  know it'll wrench my mind away from art as I'll be spending energy re-adjusting.

So as of now I will keep my projects in the front of my mind, and work towards getting ahead in my planning so that when these big changes happen, I won't be derailed. 

I've been going to the museum over the past couple of weeks as well as watching anime with my room mate. When I see art I feel inspiration well up inside of me, and it really puts me in the mood to work. So, I know what to do if I feel blocked. 

3 Months Later

I'm alive!!
I've been developing the culinary artist inside of me, so I haven't starved to death.
Not going to lie, the main reason I haven't worked on my art is because I've been enjoying myself too much. I've made good friends, and have been learning to live a comfortable life.
But comfort never accomplished anything! And now I'm really motivated to get working on my art again.
So, let me get you caught up with my life.
     I've gotten comfortable teaching the kids, and I think I've got a handle on lesson planning. It doesn't take me 5 hours to come up with one day's schedule anymore. This has freed up a lot of time for me.... a lot of time that I've spent talking to my friends and playing. But that's not a bad thing. I don't want to regret being here, and being a sad lonely mess will lead to just that. I've just got to really start organizing my time better to include studio time.
      I've been involved with a lot of Church events and been spending a lot of time with my Church family... mostly my friend Eri, who is like the friend that I've always wanted. She feeds my needy nature, haha. I say, You wanna do fireworks? She says, Yes! Do you wanna come eat hamburgurs? She says, Yes! Do you wanna go to Karaoke? She says, Yes! Do you wanna watch a movie? She says, Yes! Do you wanna work out? She says, Yes! Hence my full schedule.
     I've also been learning Taiko drums! Which is much much harder than I though it would be. And I hate practicing..... I learned this from Taiko and the events at church. I really hate practicing. I've noticed that I will cook, clean, exercise and study before I will practice. This wouldn't be a problem if I was naturally talented, but, sadly, I'm not. I've dropped off the praise team at church and if the taiko performance this spring doesn't go well, or if it sucks up too much of my time, then I will drop it as well.
One stressful day, after work and taiko and everything I was exhausted. It had snowed, and by the time I got back, there was still a nice untouched layer outside my apartment. It was calling me. I had to build a snowman! Once I started, there was no stopping. I made these and I loved every second!

I've re-learned something about myself that I forgot.... I love to create! I can take raw materials, nothing, and create something from my minds eye. That, my friends, is incredible and I love it. So, I'll cut away the excess if need be. I don't need to be on a stage, even if I enjoy it or if they say I have talent. This is my gift. I can create. I am an ARTIST!

And so, I have FINALLY made a complete work that I can show you all.

It started when I was showing Eri and Minori my pastels and how I use them. I started drawing Sailor Moon, at Eri's request, just playing around. I intended on finishing it, but messed up and almost gave up, but then I said, NO WAY! I started this and I'm going to finish!
So, I finally did.
Here's the first one, based of an internet picture.

And, here's the re-draw, my own composition.

Now... the new problem...

I don't have a good way to store or photograph any new work....

I'll keep you updated on that. 

Happy new year. I resolve to continue the process that I started at CNM. Learning to speak through my art. This is my God given talent, and I won't let it die.