The Rival

The best part about writing a story is seeing how people react to the characters. Granted, I haven't had that many stories finished to the point where I can show people and experience this but this weekend, I got it!

So, let me go into a little bit of depth on this, cause I was so stoked about it. 

This is my character, Claire (the one on the front)

 

She is the traditional, "Rival" character that is mandatory for any romance comic. If you're know Japanese comics, which my mom is fairly immersed in thanks to me, you know this; you know the character; you can spot her in an instant. So, when we were watching an anime this weekend together the rival character appeared and my mom says. "Oh! it's Claire." 

I just about cried. 

I don't know if this means that I've mastered the persona of "The Rival" in Claire, or that my mom was just actually paying attention to my piddly little 30 page chapter. But the one thing I do know, is that my character was memorable, even just a little bit, and that made me very, very happy.

What's interesting about the rival and my main character, who she's rivaling, are really the two halves of who I am; Jamie is the outward expression of myself and Claire is my inward self. I wonder if my mom sees those attributes of me inside the characters?

As this story develops and I write more and more about these characters, it's nice to see that attributes are developing which others can recognize or relate to. Maybe that's why there is always a "rival" in all the romance comics? Maybe everyone can relate to combating her, or even being her.

Words Without Pictures

Sorry to rip off your blog title Carla, it would've been different if I could find my sister's camera.
Today I thought I'd share one of the hardships of my career as an art student.... Stuff gets destroyed.
Sadly, I'm finding that this is more true with my 3D artwork than my 2D, but I've had catastrophes either way.
My latest casualty is my body armor, which I cannot show a picture of because I've misplaced the camera. I'm sorry!
But, as always, looking on the bright side I know how I can make the re-do better. Props to Dave for trying to help me out, but the repair job that we did for it broke as well. It's too bad, so sad. What I'm finding out is that the fragility and (usually negatively) spontaneous aspects of 3D design are not to my liking. It's nice to be able to make a mark, and be able to simply erase it if I don't like it. Then, when I want to store the work, or transport it, it's as simple as putting it in a portfolio. Also, in regards to the firing aspect of ceramics, I'm finding that I really don't like relying on others for the completion of my work. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think that the faculty at CNM do an good job of taking care of our projects, but the period between when I've done my part and I'm waiting for the piece to be fired is like being in the emergency room or at the MVD.
Maybe at this point I'm just ranting because quite a bit has gone wrong with this project, but at the same time I haven't hated the process. I think that I am understanding more and more how the different 3D processes work and I've enjoyed them so far (with the exception of those odious coke bottle candles!).
So, here I am about to tackle this project again, hoping that what I've just shared with you will help me to understand myself and my work a little better and result in a good final outcome.
Thanks for reading!

Happy Spring Break-esizer!

Happy Spring Break everyone!
I was just about to fall asleep at my computer as I was working on a biology report when this song came on my playlist and not only did I wake up, but I finished the whole report in the span of the song!
I thought it was pretty amazing, so I wanted to share the song.
Maybe it will help you at that final moment of the day when you need a burst of energy that won't rot in your body for the next 10 years like from a Coca-cola. Haha!

My Irrational Fear of Playing Dress Up

So, I've talked about change in drawing style, change in attitudes, change in processes (sort of), so now, what about changing one's self? I'm talking in the physical appearances aspect: clothes, hair etc. I've never put a lot of effort into how I look. Anyone who knows me know's that's the case. I'm sporty, simple comfortable and casual, all of which generally do not lean towards being "girly".
I'm bringing it up because my friend is taking me tomorrow for a makeover. She says she wants to make me more girly. She won't tell me how... just to "trust her".

I don't know that I do.....

I've thought to myself that I should dress up, that I should try to be more "pretty". But I know I'm pretty, so I guess right there lies the inner conflict. Yuck! Just saying girly and pretty so much is making me agitated.
It feels like I'm trying to crawl into someone else's skin, or like I'm putting myself inside a glass case.
Whenever I try the girly thing.... people give me too much attention. Like what I was before wasn't worth looking at. I don't mind hearing, "Wow! You look beautiful!" but really what it means is, "Wow! You finally look like a girl!". Otherwise, I'd hear the same thing when I'm in my jeans and a hoodie. I guess I just don't get it. There's some loop that I'm not a part of, or some universal knowledge that is unable to penetrate  into my brain. At any rate, I don't want to go... with every ounce of my being, I do not want to go.
But I still have that nagging feeling that I should change. Is it pressure from everyone around me? I don't know.

This shouldn't be so painful for me... but it is. And, I don't know why. I'm trying to think of more to say to help myself figure it out, but nothing's coming. Changing yourself is just hard, I guess.
This is all I've got:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

...That's What I Want! Da da da da da...

So, my only thoughts on change for the past week have been whether or not to bust into my piggy to buy a hamburger. With my sister's wedding, my friend's baby shower, "The Big Give" series going on at church and a still looming amount of money to save up from my recent car purchases.... money's been on the mind. 

I've been kind of torn about it, since I've often prayed that God would bless me so that I can bless others. And then, BAM! My grandma gave me some money and my sister gave me some A LOT of money! But now that I'm in a bit of a financial pinch, I guess the question I'm being asked is, are you all talk or not? Do I horde it, or give it away? I gave some of it to my brother for his performance arts fundraising and I'll put more of it aside for my sister and friend's gifts. 

Giving hasn't always been a problem for me. I've given away important things to me and let them go on several occasions and felt better for it. So I guess that's not really my issue. 

Still, at the same time, I've had an overwhelming feeling, urge... need?... to save and save and save. 

Ultimately what I would love is to get some more freelance jobs and commissions  so that I can stimulate my cash inflow while still building up my artistic skills. I've been applying for tons of jobs online, but have only had one nibble and no bites so far. I'm working on an illustration project for one of the ladies at work, so maybe it's a good thing I'm not getting a ton of work, otherwise I could be overwhelmed.

At the same time I'm still trying to create and finish work for my online portfolio as well as my comics and the whole work load I'm putting on myself is becoming a bit daunting. 

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm repeating my previous blog post. I guess it's good that I'm keeping the same resolve as previously expressed though, right?

Anyway, just a post to post. I really enjoy getting my thoughts out through this blog.

I just wish I had something new to post image wise for you. I finished all my coca-cola candles, but I hate them, and they will no longer be given any space on this blog. *SHUN!*

On a fun note though. I'm thinking of purchasing the year long zoo and aquarium membership so that I can do some serious animal and landscape drawings. I think that it will be worth breaking the bank for. I just need to find someone who's willing to buy the couple's pack with me so I can get the discount. Muahahahaha! It's diabolical!