Japanese and Emotions / Emotional outbursts

So, through many a miraculous occurrence I am back on good terms with Ellie. She moved out and with the proper amount of space between us, things are good.

 Space is a good thing. 

That's just an update. 

Now for some reflection.

Before Ellie moved out we had one big fight and I exploded at her. I cried and I was very emotional.

Now, today I had a conversation about emotions and how they are taken by Japanese people.

Strong negative emotions such as anger, sadness or fear towards a person or institution are always suppressed. (I mentioned this in a previous blog.)

As long as those emotions are being suppressed, the relationship holds and you are in a place to work with each other. However, once there is an emotional outburst, crying, shouting, whatever, and you are no longer suppressing those emotions, it is the same as saying, "I'm out. And I don't want anything to do with this anymore." The relationship is severed.

This is why the fact that Ellie and I becoming friends again was such a miracle!

I didn't know then what I know now, but hopefully this helps anyone who might be having issues with someone so that they don't to do unnecessary damage to their relationship.